GEMS FOR PRESIDENT

Jana, Pearl, Opal, and I frequently watch the news in the early mornings before we leave the house for work; Jana to train budding artists at Whitehorse High School, and Pearl, Opal, and I to entertain guests at Twin Rocks Trading Post. While there are some uplifting stories, much of the today’s reporting focuses on the current electoral malaise. For me, the broadcasts are like coming across a trainwreck with bodies strewn across the landscape; while you know you should look away, you simply can’t and are consequently left with horrific images seared into your memory. While this unfortunate political situation began decades ago, it has certainly accelerated since 2016, and although we may disagree on the cause we all understand the effect.

As we were watching a report on the “dumpster fire” created when Governor Kristi Noem decided to execute, some might say murder, her “best friend” Cricket and his pal the stinky goat at the gravel pit, the news commentator reminded us of the old saying that goes around Washington D.C., “If you want a friend in politics, get a dog.” Apparently, Kristi was not familiar with that piece of advice, or felt that as governor of South Dakota she was exempt.

As you might guess, we all were appalled, none more than Pearl and Opal. Hearing about the heartless “petricide” of one of their own left The Gems traumatized, and they howled in disbelief. Having never been engaged in that pursuit, Pearl and Opal were unaware politics is such a heartless profession. On the other hand, they were aware of Wilbur, the French bulldog who was named mayor of Rabit Hash, a community of about 500 people located in Boone County, Kentucky.

In 2020 Wilbur managed to beat out the incumbent Brynneth Pawltro, a pit bull terrier who was originally elected during the 2016 election cycle. Although the results were disappointing for Brynneth, she took it like a champ and stepped aside without a whimper. No insurrections, no election contests, no litigation, no Stop the Steal; just good sportsmanship, honesty and integrity. It was a peaceful and democratic transfer of power.

Pearl and Opal had also become acquainted with Babydog Justice, the first canine of West Virginia. Babydog is a symbol of love, patience and understanding in Charleston. While humans were doubting her abilities and making bad jokes about her policies, she was inspiring West Virginians with compassion and good humor. Babydog has become a symbol of hope for all who know her history and has proven dogs can indeed succeed in politics.

As a result of the death of Cricket and the stinky goat in South Dakota and inspired by Wilbur and Babydog in Kentucky and West Virginia, Pearl and Opal have decided on an unusual course of action. No longer will they stand by and allow people like Kristi Noem to destroy their pals, muck up the environment, and ignore the law. They are getting involved and launching a campaign for the office of president. “Dogs for president?” you might ask, and “Can they truly run together?” Well, with the U.S. Supreme Court overturning precedent, ignoring ethical guidelines, and the defying the Constitution, Pearl and Opal believe the answer is, “Yes!”

Apparently, Forbes magazine also believes the Pearl and Opal brand of co-management is a viable method. In a recent article Forbes stated, “It’s time to abolish the ‘great man’ myth, that rusty, outdated notion that one smart person (typically a white male) should lead a company or a country.” The Gems cannot agree more, and they are ready to act, jointly.

Eschewing both the Republican and Democratic parties, they are running on the “Dogmatic” ticket. Like Howard Beale, they are mad as Hell and are not going to take it anymore. Borrowing from the 1928 presidential campaign, their slogan is, “A biscuit in every belly and a tortilla on every table.” As you might guess, they love biscuits and tortillas. Already support is growing, and their organization is gaining traction. A vote for Pearl and Opal is a vote for humanity, justice, honesty, integrity, and fairness. Don’t wait, get on the Gem Train today, vote Pearl and Opal for president. Your vote has never been more important!